I have amazing news, Wisbechians. After a carefully prepared bid, and extensive lobbying in the corridors and urinals of power, Wisbech Community Forum has secured finance to produce the blockbuster movie which the residents of Fenland have been salivating over for many years. Thanks to a grant from The Fenland Film Development Foundation, we start shooting in August. We have hired a stellar cast, and this should be the film which finally puts Wisbech in its rightful place.
Intrepid, scandal-busting local journalist Jack Elthansafety (Kevin Whately) has worked for six weeks to expose a cash-for-silence scandal which could bring down several public figures. After plying ex-mayor Jon Framer(Tony Robinson) with pina coladas, Elthansafety believes he has the scoop of a lifetime. Local crime-busting police chief Inspector Sizzle (Christian Bale) needs only one more piece of evidence from Elthansafety before he will order dawn raids on exclusive addresses the length and breadth of Woodcote Park.
Jack Elthansafety, Jon Framer, Inspector Sizzle
Arthur Milton, Vanessa Garrod
Sarah Hoyle, Stan Turner, Terry Mitchell
Bob The Tramp, Molly Watkins
What happens next… Has Eltheansafety been silenced by his corporate enemies? Have they gone one step too far in their desperate quest for global power? Has Bob been drinking too much lighter fuel? The film opens at The Luxe cinema, Alexandra Road, Wisbech on September 17th (corporate guests, sponsors, and WTC members only) For the rest of you suckers, you will have to wait until the remaindered DVD appears at a LIDL near you.