Tuesday, 20 March 2012

JUST HOW RUN-DOWN IS WISBECH TOWN CENTRE? Pickwick sent out one of his emissaries for a cycle ride today to record for posterity some of the town's worst eyesores. One of his old colleagues had remarked upon the irony that the Constantine House wreckage formerly bore the name 'BELFAST', and that it did resemble something reduced to rubble by extremists during 'The Troubles'.

Given that some of the ruins are the result of arson, and the absentee owners could clearly not give three-fifths of five-eighths of …..well, very little, Pickwick does not seek to lay blame on our worthy Town, or even District elected representatives. The situation is way beyond their competence, influence, and budget. If the Town Team manages to win its £100K from Mary Portass, that would just about pay for a couple of hours time with a not very high-profile lawyer.

Are there such things as Compulsory Purchase Orders these days? Mr P believes that they must still exist, otherwise how could the controversial new London to Birmingham rail link ever go ahead? Leaving aside the strange notion that anyone should want to get to Birmingham any quicker than absolutely necessary, it must surely be possible for these Wisbech ruins to be bought with public money, and then sold off at a profit?

Wisbech's finest living journalist, the legendary Lord Elworthy of Probing-Deeply loves a good conspiracy theory. No grasping councillor is safe from his gimlet eye, no undeclared back-hander escapes his forensic mind. If things get a little quiet, then he might be advised to investigate this intriguing advertisement. Bon Nuit, mes enfants